Let's Talk Screen Time: A Balanced Approach

So welcome, welcome everyone.

I'm Ashley Cross, and today we have a very exciting topic.

Um, we're going to be talking about screen time, and we have a fantastic guest for you to come on and to tell you all about this.

Muhammad, thank you so much for being here with us.

We're really, really grateful to, to have you with us.

You've been involved in Atlas for many years at the leadership level.

You've worked at schools, you worked at industry.

Will you tell everybody just a little bit a-about your, your background too and, and kick things off for us? Welcome.

Yes.

Uh, Ashley, thank you so much for having me, and thank you for those who are attending.

I'm excited to offer this webinar and just share some of my experiences and insights.

Uh, so a little bit about me.

Um, I have been working in independent schools for about twenty plus years now.

Started off as a classroom teacher, eventually, rolled into the, position of educational technology specialist, was director of educational technology, and I'm currently the director of operations and technology.

So pretty much covering everything that, keeps the campus working.

Um, my background, I was, born and raised in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I attended the University of Minnesota for both graduate and undergrad, also University of Cincinnati.

Uh, I have background in psychology, education, and information technology, and I'm proud to say I am an ECAD, currently known as ALI alum, so had the benefit of going through that program, and as Ashley, mentioned, currently serve on the Atlas board.

So yes, I've had, a lot of time to experience, think about, and, engage in technology conversations throughout my career.

Um, but I'm excited to just share my journey around screen time with you all today and, hopefully give you some solutions and approaches that will help you, in whatever role you play in the schools regarding technology.

And thank you so much for, everyone who has posted to the chat, just letting us know where you're coming from.

So one of the first things I always like to share with people is my philosophy when it comes to working with learning communities, and, I often use, common letters or alliteration to help me remember, but hopefully it helps others remember too.

So whenever I think about my work with learning communities, it always starts with helping them to develop a mindset.

So no matter if I'm talking with division directors, students, or parents, I like to make sure that they're thinking about what is the mindset going into the learning experience.

And I hope that, you know, throughout my time working with them, that they're able to seek out some meaning and really develop a purpose for why we are coming together as a learning community.

And finally, just working towards mastery, thinking about how do we get better at a particular skill or just understand ourselves that much better.

So when I think about educational technology, especially, in a school setting, I think about the pyramid of needs.

So going back to my psychology background, I think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but I apply it to a educational technology setting.

And in this case, I think of three levels.

You know, when we first start talking about technology in learning spaces, it's really just operational.

How do we make things work so that we can do the job of educating students? Um, but then we start to get into tech being a way to encourage us to aspire for something new, and that can be, coming up with a new initiative, thinking about ways to, engage students in a variety of ways, more accessibility.

And then finally, there's the transformational.

How do we empower our learning community to really change the way that we've approached learning to kind of become something more advanced or that benefits a larger group of people? So throughout my time talking today, I'll kind of refer back to some of these points, but a, a big part of my approach is always like setting up the tone for why I do the things I do and hopefully how it aligns with the mission and values of whatever community I'm working in.

So, where we're gonna go today really is, focus on being a tech intentional leader.

Uh, one of the things I said when I was first thinking about this, webinar and just this overall, topic is I wanna make sure that we're kind of finding that middle ground.

So rather than being, you know, a tech evangelist and saying everything about tech is great and we just need to adopt it, or being sort of on the other side of it and being anti-tech and a little more, fear-oriented, I wanna be in the middle where I'm thinking about how can I use tech in an intentional manner, and how do I always make sure that I know the purpose? And anytime you're talking about screen time, I think it really helps parents, and families to know what your intentions are.

And so my three major intentions are to, one, be moderate, two, to be positive, and then three, to be practical.

That's how I've sort of shaped my career in educational technology, and I hope that some of those ideas will benefit you as you are thinking about this topic.

So the breakdown of today's conversation is going to be three main points.

Uh, the first one is anytime you're trying to develop a relationship with, a community, you need to have some transparency.

So transparency builds trust, and as it says on here, you know, clear is kind.

The more you can be clear about what you're going to be doing and what your approach is, the easier it is to build those relationships.

And then visible and vocal, we'll get into how do you make yourself, a person who is known in the community so that when you're trying to build that trust, you're already familiar.Uh, the second area that we're gonna look into is what I call the three Cs, so collaboration, communication, and connection.

Each one of those builds on one another.

Um, I took this, phrase from Bryan Stevenson, who I had a chance to see multiple times, but most recently at NAIS, and it's this idea of getting proximate.

If you really wanna collaborate with people, you have to start local.

You have to make sure that you're going into the spaces and giving them an opportunity to engage with you.

And then you gotta play with platforms.

There's a lot of different ways to connect and communicate with people, so make sure that you're not siloing yourself in just one particular style, but reaching out in a variety of ways.

And then the final, area that we're gonna look at is be balanced and bilingual.

Um, I had the benefit of doing an interview for the Atlas magazine a few years back, and one of the things I said that all tech leaders can work towards is being bilingual in who they can engage with.

So you know how to speak the language of tech, you maybe even know how to speak the language of education, but what about speaking the language of a parent? What about speaking the language of a student? How do you find ways to talk to every constituency? So you have to learn how to wear a lot of hats, which many of us do anyway, and we have to learn the language of the people that we're trying to engage with.

So, how do we start the process of building the trust through transparency? Well, one of the first things I said is, you know, clear is kind.

Um, at the very start of every school year, we make sure that we revisit our technology policies, because those are gonna be the ways that we have a conversation with families about the school's position on screen time.

So if we're going to talk about something, like smaller, like screen time, we need to understand what our overall technology policy is and how does the school approach technology use.

So we always make sure that our policies align with our mission and values.

We try to make sure that they're as clear and accessible as possible, so one of the things that I've done at every school that I've worked at is make sure that parents and families get the policy and that it's a part of their registration process.

So every single year, students and families grades three through twelve who actually interact with screens on a regular basis, especially one-to-one, they review and sign the student technology handbook.

And the goal is to just really clearly lay out the expectations so that we're partners with the families, and they know what we're doing in terms of technology and policy, and that how that might align with their family policies and expectations.

So this is just giving you kind of an overview of some of the things that we worked on.

I can also share this out if you wanted to see it, in a fuller form, but one of the things we do currently at Charles Wright is we wanted to get back to aligning our, values with our policies.

So our five core values are respect, integrity, compassion, perseverance, and excellence.

And so we didn't wanna limit that to just general behavior.

We wanted to make sure that that covers technology and technology use as well.

So whenever students-- whenever we're having a conversation with them about how they use technology, whether we're talking about screen time, we're gonna refer back to these core values.

Um, similarly, when we talk about the acceptable use policy, we wanted to frame it in the affirmative.

So rather than saying, "Here's a list of all the things you can't do and that you should never do," we started looking at how we can affirm what the students should be doing.

So you'll see things like, "I am responsible for being honest while I'm online.

I am responsible for protecting school property.

I am responsible for how I trust and treat other people." So that's the kind of language that we are using so that when we start having conversations with families about technology use, they can look at where we align, and hopefully they have already bought into this because, I mean, they're already choosing to come to the school, so hopefully our values already align.

But you can't just limit it to, you know, one registration at the beginning of the school year, because, you know, time continues on.

People, live dynamic lives.

So the more opportunities you can get in front of, the audience and get in front of the members that you're trying to connect with, it makes a huge difference.

So one of the things that I have done consistently with my time as a director, is just making opportunities to go to assemblies, go to town halls, speak at, state of school addresses, and it's a great opportunity to, reiterate some of your philosophies and values, to outline your systems.

Most recently, we did a, a, excuse me, a town hall address to all of our families, just laying out where we've been, as a school, and, you know, I had an opportunity to speak for about five to seven minutes, just outline what's going on in technology, highlight some notable initiatives that we're doing, and then, say what future developments we're working on.

And the feedback that I got from that is a lot of parents like, "Oh, I didn't even know you were doing that.

I didn't realize that there were, restrictions set up for screen time or that you were looking at ways of tracking screen time during the day so that students and families would have a better sense of how much time they're spending on screens." So it's just a great way to keep people informed, and it allows you to be that visible figure that oftentimes tech directors aren't as well known.

So shifting just for a moment, I'm gonna move into the collaboration and communication connection section, but if at any point you wanted to post anything in the chat, I know most of this will be me talking to you, but if you ever have any questions, we can follow up with those at the end.

But I wanted to give you a moment to think if there's anything that you were curious about from that section, and you can post it in the chat, and then at the end of this webinar, I can look back at those questions and address them.Okay.

So, to echo Brian Stevenson, getting proximate.

So one of the ways that has always helped me, especially as I'm continuing this idea of how do I build these relationships around talking about screen time, the long-term investment that I do is I build connections with the teachers, the department chairs, and the division directors, because they're on the front lines.

They're the ones who know the families the most and the best, and they're gonna be a wealth of information when it comes to how to interface with them, what topics are on their mind, how are they feeling and thinking about screen time.

And more often than not, the first person to come and talk to me about screen time is a division director.

Like, I'm getting a lot of feedback from parents who are concerned about how much time their child spends on screens, whether it's at school or if it's at home, and it's an opportunity for me to learn a little bit more about what the, overall atmosphere is in terms of our school community.

So I can gather a lot of data that I can then put to good use around what kind of conversations I need to be having with the teachers, with the department chairs, and ultimately with families.

So one of the things that came out of this is, actually we developed a screen time guide.

So I had had numerous conversations with our division directors who were saying, "You know, parents are just looking for a little bit of guidance, something that they can refer back to when they're trying to have a conversation with their child or if they're trying to develop their own, family expectations." So we developed this screen time guide that basically, breaks down five easy habits that you can implement at home.

I mean, they're not truly easy because you always have to put in the effort, but the things that we focused on were setting some screen time boundaries, where are the spaces where your child can, use screens and when is it time for them to take a break? This idea of being a co-pilot, where families think about when your child is on a screen, are you spending time with them? Are you learning, what they're engaging in, and then are you able to participate with them? We also talked about the importance of sleep and how that shapes how a student is going to do at school, and so really protecting that time to get some rest and, restoration is really important.

And then for our younger students, we talked about not using screens as a pacifier, but helping them work through some of those emotions, rather than, "Hey, they're having a big emotion," or, "I just need them to be distracted for a minute, so let me give them a screen." So this whole, process started through that collaboration and just really learning what's going on.

The great thing is, if you have these relationships with, teachers and with division directors, you can get your message out in a much, more effective way.

So I didn't have to try to figure out how to reach out to families.

Once the guide was created, I was able to have the division directors distribute it in their electronic newsletters.

We were able to print copies and put it in the main offices so that when families come to visit, they would have something to refer to.

So it's just a great opportunity to utilize a lot of trusted figures who the families already know to then bridge those connections with the family.

So it's a little bit of that foot in the door policy of, "Hey, this person knows me," so we and y- the two people that are trying to connect have an opportunity.

Okay, so this is where we get into other platforms.

So we've started kind of with the basics of sharing your policy.

Uh, we talk about working with people who are on the front lines, but we also wanna think about how do we gather information.

And so we were trying to, at my school, determine, you know, how much time are students actually spending on screens? And while, you know, you have the benefit of going to teachers and saying, "Well, can you give us a survey?" You don't always get a lot of feedback on the surveys, and sometimes it's hard to get accurate numbers.

So if we're really trying to be data-driven, we wanted a way to get clearer numbers on how much time students are spending on screens, particularly at school.

You know, we have families who come to us and say, "We have an expectation of our child only being on screens this amount of time when they're at home, but that gets disrupted if they're spending all this time on screens at school.

It doesn't align with our family values." So we wanted to give in-- more information to both our division directors, to our teachers, and ultimately to our families.

Uh, so I partnered with Get Set Tech and kind of talked them through what I was hoping for, gave them a sense of what we were working with in terms of, technology and platforms, and because our school heavily utilizes Google Workspace, they were able to come up with a solution, known as the Chrome Clock, which can track how often a student is connecting to their, particular Google account.

You know, it's not a perfect system, but it was a way for us to start getting, a rough sense of how much time on average a student per grade per hour was spending on their device, or at least connected to their device through the internet.

And, we did see some trends, as you can see in this heat map.

You can see the time of day going from eight AM until three PM, you can see, the grade levels, and then you can see where some of those hotspots are.

So it was just a helpful tool to kind of guide some of our pedagogy and instruction.

We can then go back to those grade levels and say, "Hey, we're noticing at these times there's a trend that students tend to be on their devices towards the middle of the day, and in fifth and sixth grade, it's a much heavier use."Does this reflect our instruction? Does this reflect them doing something purposeful with technology? And if not, you know, what adjustments need to be made? And then we can share that with families and show that, hey, we are being intentional in the way that we design our curriculum and the way that we use technology.

So just more opportunities to think about how to manage screen time and then have those meaningful conversations.

So in addition to playing with platforms online, there's also kind of thinking about different spaces where you want to connect.

And up until now, I've really been talking about those, adjacent, locations when it comes to having conversations with families, but then there's the direct conversations, and one of the best partners that I've seen for that is family associations, PTAs, anyone who's helping to organize family and parent conversations.

And so I have consistently looked for ways to connect with the family association, whether it is attending their meetups, their happy hours, having scheduled presentations.

So one of the images you see here is we had an evening conversation where we just talked about writing, learning, and technology, and it was an opportunity for me to bring in some of my insights, both as an educator and as a technology leader, and it was just a really good opportunity to listen and learn.

So not feeling like you always have to be the expert in that space, but coming in and saying, you know, "What's going on with, you know, families and students? What are some of the things that they're seeing at home?" And then, "What are some of the expectations?" And you're hearing it directly from them.

So we have the benefit of hearing it from teachers and division directors, but then being able to go into the space and hear it directly from the families so that you can start looking for ways to find that alignment in values, clarifying the understanding and misconceptions that might exist, and then also, as my colleague Eric Hudson would, talk about acknowledging some of that uncertainty, admitting where it's like, "You know what? I don't actually know what the source of that issue is," or, "This is the first time I'm hearing about this particular topic.

I would like to follow up with you." But it's building that trust through letting people know where you stand and understanding better what they need.

So some of the things that we talk about in these, sessions would be what is in your healthy use of technology toolkit? So whenever I meet with families, I often start with a slide like this where I'm just wanting to learn what's working well for families.

So if we're talking about screen time, I love to hear what strategies they're using, and then hopefully they share those strategies with other families.

So parents in the space can hear, "Oh, wow, you're using this to be successful with your child," or, you know, "You have found this particular tool to be useful." So giving them the space, and you're acting as a facilitator of knowledge rather than being, you know, the holder of the knowledge.

So that has always been a really good, starting point that I use with, families.

One of the other things that we can do in that space is start giving them some more concrete, tools to use if they don't have them in their toolkit already.

So, a big thing we talk about when we discuss screen time with families is having these mutually accepted expectations, being able to sit down with your child and have a conversation.

So not only are we practicing transparency when we engage with families, but we're encouraging families to practice transparency, with their children.

So working with their child to establish some of those standards and home rules, emphasizing what is the value behind it.

Whenever I talk to my own children, I say, "The reason I am asking you to do this or setting this expectation is because it relates to this value.

We value you getting a good night's sleep.

We value you going outside and getting a little bit of exercise, so that has to balance with your choice to be on screens." And then, of course, providing those reasonable alternatives.

That's a big one that I've been pushing, you know, since, screen time has become a concern is like, well, if you're gonna take away the screens, what else are you gonna have them do? So it can't just be, "Don't be on screens, now go sit in your room by yourself." You know? So more often than not, when my seven-year-old says, "Hey, I wanna play this game," or, "I wanna watch this show," I'm like, "Well, you've watched enough for today.

It seems like you've been watching a lot." So he'll say, "All right, will you go outside and play basketball with me?" It'll be six PM, I've had, like, a 10-hour day, but I'm like, "Yes, I will go out and play basketball with you because I need to give you a reasonable alternative." So I think that's another thing that I try to emphasize to parents is that it's not necessarily that, you know, having a good screen time solution is gonna be less work for you, but it's going to be more meaningful work.

So if you are putting in this effort, it's gonna pay off through the relationship you build with your child, through the trust that you're able to establish as a family.

So those are just some of the things that I, encourage families to think about when we're having these conversations.

And then finally, this is if you wanna just get really, advanced in your platform seeking.

Uh, I had the benefit of working with a division director at the time who was, managing our, preschool, and they were, trying to figure out how to help families who were just starting to get into the screen time conversations.

You know, they have a child who wants to watch their favorite show, or their child at one point, you know, was given a tablet by a grandma, and so they're trying to navigate that.And so we initially were going to put out just another newsletter, but we said, "Well, what if we came up with our own podcast?" So we actually created a podcast, called Lofty Conversations, and we started our first episode talking about screen time.

And what was really, you know, empowering about it is that, one, we could reach a broader audience.

Uh, two, it wasn't time-sensitive, so anyone who wanted to engage could.

And, you know, while I love webinars, sometimes the ability to just listen to something, and not feel like you have to be paying attention to the video was, really appealing to families.

So we created it.

It ended up helping us build some more of that transparency and trust, and it helped to build on that level of compassion and empathy because we were able to tell our stories, both from our perspective as educators and as parents, and we talked about some of our shared struggles and our shared solutions.

So, when we were able to do that, it just opened up more doors for connecting with our families.

And so, one of the big things that we discussed in that podcast was, you know, identifying your screen time story.

What has shaped you as a parent and as an individual around screen time and the way that you think about it? You know, I share in the podcast the fact that there wasn't a lot of, you know, conversation around screens when I was growing up other than the fact that you weren't supposed to sit too close to them, and if you watched for too long, it would rot your brain.

And so I also recognized that it was more of a communal experience.

It wasn't me sitting on a device by myself, it was my family coming together after dinner, and we would watch, you know, some primetime event, or we would have, like, the common shows that felt more family-oriented.

And so my approach to screen time wasn't one of sort of fear and concern.

It was like, "Oh, that was my time to connect." And so I think that's something that we, can help families develop is what is their screen time story and how is that shaping the way that they relate to technology and how they convey those values to their children.

And so some of the questions we pose, as you can see on there, is just, you know, when your child is on screens, is it active, is it passive? You know, are they consuming? Are they creating? So what does that look like? And just giving them a platform to, to think more thoroughly about their own experiences.

Okay, so I'll pause there, 'cause we're going into the third part of the, webinar, and just another opportunity for you to, post any questions that I can address at the end of the webinar.

So anything related to, that collaboration, communication, and connection section.

And I, I just happened to glance at some of the comments, and yes, it may not have rotted your brain, but, it's possible that it could have fried.

And we do talk about the idea of helping students and children think about balancing out screen time and sleep, and that's something that, I'm gonna talk about in this next section too.

Okay, so, when we think about how we're going to have these conversations, we have to be willing to put on different hats.

And as I mentioned before, I trade hats on a regular basis, going from being a educator to being a tech leader to being a parent, to just being a, a colleague.

And, whenever I talk to families, I try to make sure that I speak from the I perspective and share some of the experiences that I've had, not in, you know, a preacher manner, where it's like, "Hey, you need to be convinced that my way is correct," but really more of a, "This is what has worked for me, and here's why it fits with my family values and expectations." But sharing your toolkit can really help to continue to build that trust and allow families to see you as more than just a tech director.

I'm always amazed by how quickly, you know, the faces of the families light up or they actually stop and start listening to what I'm saying when I say, "Yeah, I have a twelve-year-old," or, "I have a seven-year-old, and here is what it's like when I'm trying to manage their use of technology." It just makes you sort of more human to them.

When oftentimes you're in a, leadership role, you're, you're sort of, set apart.

And so, I like to give real-world examples.

I like to also practice vulnerability.

I spend a lot of time telling them I do not have all the answers.

When they ask me to come to the family association meetings, and they're like, "Solve all of our problems," I'm like, "I cannot solve all your problems, but I can tell you what are some of the tools that I use or some of the things that I've seen work for other families." Um, and just giving that unique perspective sort of gives them multiple approaches that they can consider.

So one of the examples I give to them, is that my family uses the Amazon ecosystem.

So we, have Fire tablets that we allow our two children to use.

Um, the thing we like about it is that it's built to have a lot of parental controls.

You can do similar things on other platforms, whether you're using, Apple Screen Time or you have some type of home, internet management system.

But as I've said to folks, I'm not...Necessarily a sponsor for Amazon, but the examples that I gave that I appreciated is I'm able to manage their digital content, I can push out, books and, activities for them to do on their tablet.

I can set time limits so that I can say, "Hey, you should only be on the screen for an hour today," or, you know, during school, it might only be thirty minutes.

Some of the things that you have unlimited access to would be an audiobook if you would like to listen while you're doing some other activity.

But you can only play, games and apps for, you know, fifteen or twenty minutes.

So that sort of, flexibility in how to manage the tool has been helpful for my family.

We also use our Echo Dots to set timers.

Uh, what I have found amazing is if you have an external, authority telling you how much time you have when you're managing your children, they tend to be more responsive.

If I say to my seven-year-old, "All right, you need to, finish up with that activity in fifteen minutes," but I just leave him to his own devices or tell him to look at the clock, it doesn't work so well.

But if I say to my Echo Dot, "Hey, you need to set a timer for fifteen minutes," he hears it go off, it gives him both a visual and an auditory signal of screen time, needs to shift to do something else, and it's just a good way, to not shout across the house.

So I can just say to the Echo Dot, "Hey, tell the boys it's time for dinner," and, then we all get the message, and then everybody comes up.

Um, and then finally, you know, if I need to change something, I can go right to my phone and make that adjustment.

So that's just one example of how I have used tools to manage screen time, and that's usually something that I'll convey to families just so that they can see what one option is.

Okay, so then you have to put on your teacher hat, and one of the things that I found to be really helpful is getting into the classrooms of students.

It's very easy to become siloed as a technology leader.

So maybe you do a lot of, front-facing activities with, teachers and, staff members.

Maybe occasionally you get in front of, the families, but you gotta get in front of the students too.

You gotta find ways to engage with them because they're the ones who we're ultimately supporting.

So if we don't really know much about what students are thinking and feeling about technology or even screen time, if we're being specific, then, we miss an opportunity to have meaningful conversations and come up with meaningful strategies to support them.

So, most recently, I have found at least once or twice a year the opportunity to go into, a grade level class and teach digital literacy, work with wellness classes to talk about digital health and, it's just been a lot of fun learning from the students, giving them opportunities to ask me questions.

Just yesterday, I was in a wellness class and just said, "All right, y'all have ten minutes.

You can ask me whatever you want." So if it's why do I do things this way, why do we have these filters, what is this new technology? And it was cool just hearing what was on students' minds.

The funny thing is the most common ones were related to, how do they access their grades.

Um, so that's just something to work on, within our school community.

But overall, it seemed like students were receptive to having these conversations.

So this is just a, a slide from the ninth and tenth grade wellness class that I was working on, and, you know, once again, using the same language that I use with, faculty and staff and families that I do with the students.

So instead of saying, "Hey, we're not coming here to talk about all the restrictions or to make you afraid of using technology, especially being on screens.

We just want you to feel engaged, informed, and empowered." So when they know that you're there as an advocate, then that also gets back to their families, and it basically builds all those different bridges between different stakeholders within the learning community.

Um, and one of, the things that I really enjoyed doing with them yesterday is I asked them to pick their favorite, screen time activity and to...

if you've ever seen Jimmy Fallon do this, write a thank you note to it, where it's sort of a blend of what you appreciate, but also some of that uncertainty that goes along with using it.

You know, so it had the earnestness of, hey, I actually do really appreciate having this particular, activity in my life, but I also, can be a little sarcastic about the value of that activity.

Um, one of my favorites was a student who was talking about, always doing The New York Times, games, and so they're like, "Thank you for always having a game to stimulate my mind, but, also why do you always have to make the purple connection so difficult?" So just an opportunity for, the students to engage in thinking about their activities and their screen time.

So, you also have to kinda learn the language, and in order to do that, you have to be an ethnographer.

You actually have to take time to get into the spaces, as I call it, their natural habitats.

This is, a picture of my two children, playing in their natural habitat, and what I love to do is kinda just listen to the way they talk, about technology or the way they engage with each other when they are, doing a particular task, and I think I can get the sound to work, but I have a, a little recording of, them talking to each other about screens, and I just kinda found it fascinating the way that they engage with each other These creepy guys.

Oh my God.

Are those creepy guys see if they have one eyes.

Look at them.

Wait, actually it looks like they have two heads now.

So much damage And this is a 12-year-old talking to a seven-year-old What, what, what grade is your squirrel? Uh, eight.

It's, and I might be able to get to like grade 12 or grade 11.

Show me your tablet, please.

No way.

I'm doing a br-- Wait, I'm not doing a brawl.

Can you just show me real quick so I can see how, how, what grade...

I can, I can figure out what grade you're going to get your squirrel to.

Just come show me your tablet, and I can figure out what grade your squirrel will be able to get to So the reason I share that with you and that I share it with families is, it's just fascinating to see also what kind of impact screens have on relationships amongst children and amongst siblings.

Um, the fact that they're five years apart, but they can have this common language that they speak to each other and have this sort of shared interest, has actually been really healthy for my family.

You know, sometimes we talk about screens having a disruptive nature.

It's actually, allowed for more connection between them because they don't have a lot of similar interests, outside of screens.

Um, and the fact that they can talk about it and support each other, has been a really positive aspect.

But it also comes with limits, and it comes with, setting up some of those expectations around how they use them.

But just getting back to that idea of, you know, I had to learn a whole lot about dragons because they both love the game, related to How to Train Your Dragon.

And so just picking up on what they have an interest in, why it's fascinating to them, goes back to the guide that, we presented to parents about being more of a co-pilot and learning, about what the students and what your children are interested in and why screen time even, keeps them connected.

And the same thing happens when I have the opportunity to talk to students during different classes.

Uh, so this is actually from a survey we did with students, just asking them how do they spend their free time, what do they do to ent-entertain or enrich themselves.

Um, and I was fascinated by the different things that they said.

Now, this was a group of seventh graders, and this was when I was, teaching in, in, Arkansas, and so a big thing in Arkansas was mountain biking.

And of course, if we're talking about seventh graders, they also love Minecraft.

This was a couple years ago when, like, Minecraft was really blowing up.

If you look closely, some of the other common, streaming services like TikTok or YouTube are on there, but they're not as, prominent as things like reading, mountain biking, Minecraft.

So it was just interesting to see where they were at in their thinking.

Uh, but it goes back to being that ethnographer and trying to gather information from, the group that you're interested in learning about.

Uh, another thing we actually asked them is, "How much screen time do you think is appropriate?" You know, we always try to tell students, you know, this is how much you should be on screens, or this is what the limits are.

Um, but it's just fascinating to hear what they actually think.

Um, I, I love the students who would basically say, "I would never limit my screen time," which maybe they feel like they have a healthy relationship with it.

Um, but the most common one was about two hours.

So for many of them, they felt like throughout a day, that two hours was reasonable.

And just having them talk through that and sort of defend their position to their peers, I think was a great way to get them to think about it and then share this same data with families so that then they can get an insight into what their children are thinking about.

So just getting back to you gotta know the people you're talking to.

You have to learn how to speak their language.

And, the more you can share out and be transparent, the better the conversations will be.

So ultimately, I have taken you through the journey of being a tech intentional leader.

Um, and you had a chance to look at what it means to build, trust through transparency.

You looked at the three Cs of collaboration, communication, and connection.

And then ultimately, we close with finding a way to be balanced through wearing many hats and learning language, ultimately allowing you to be more bilingual with whoever you are trying to engage with.

Uh, so, here is my information if you wanna reach out to me.

Uh, it is mohammad@practicow.com.

So M-U-H-A-M-M-A-D @practical.com.

I can also put that in the chat.

Um, but yeah.

Uh, thank you, Dr.

Cross for putting that question in there, what tips they might have for the group.

Um, that was gonna be my next thing.

So thank you so much for listening and giving me a chance to share my journey That was really great.

Like, I took so many, so many notes.

I...

And you know, Muhammad, y-you got me.

I'm convicted too with, with my own children of I, I think that we need to do an exercise of talking about our family values around tech, and really be very intentional with that.

My kiddos are little, and so they're just kind of in, getting into the foray of this.

But Fantastic.

I loved your language, though, the digital pacifier, giving reasonable alternatives.

And, you know, those are so hard because I, I do feel like we are so exhausted, all of us.

You know, it's, we- we've got a lot going on, and so that constant way to then engage at an even deeper level, it is easier to, to use a digital pacifier a lot of times.

And even with our own adult relationships, we're sitting there on those screens all the time.

So that's great.

But yeah, audience, I'm curious, do you have anything else to add? Anything that's, yeah, worked, worked well? I mean, if I could say something, one of the things-- and Muhammad, thank you so much for this presentation.

I, kind of-- like, actually, I have a whole, like, three pages of notes now of things that, like, wow, just, like, such basic things that are just like this, this seems so transformational, like, so easy to implement and, and, but makes so much sense.

Um, two things for you that, that really kind of jump out.

Uh, one of my biggest struggles is kind of having this balancing act with collaborating with, with parent groups of, like, yes, we wanna work together, we wanna get your input, we wanna, you know, have this relationship, but also you're not a policymaking group of the school.

Like, this is...

these are our values, these are the, the strategies that we've built.

You've chosen our school, so hopefully you're, you're kind of in line with, with what we're saying, with what we're doing.

'Cause one of the things I know I've had, so many times over the years, we have a Chromebook program, one-to-one in the middle school, like m- many schools, and I would have the con-- every year, someone would call and be like, "My kid's on the Chromebook at two o'clock in the morning.

I need you guys to do something about it." And the answer's always been the same of, like, "Take it away.

It- it's, it's your house.

Like, the rules exist in your house.

Uh, we don't change that." Um, so how, how have you kind of navigated that, that experience of, like, yes, we wanna be partners, but also we are going to decide what we're doing as a school? Yeah.

And I appreciate that you brought up two, excellent points.

One, going to the latter part of what you mentioned, is that, parent empowerment.

Like, really giving them the authority to say, "You are the manager of your household.

You know? Like, you don't have to turn to the school to decide if and when your child is using a device at home." But the thing that has really helped in those conversation is saying, "Well, here are some ways that you can manage it a little bit better at home." You know? So whether they're asking about how to manage their internet service provider, I always tell them, like, "I cannot be the expert for that, but here are some of the things that I've done.

I have a app on my phone that allows me to connect to Comcast, and I can decide which devices can be online.

You may wanna check with your own service provider and see if that's possible." Uh, similarly, I try to go back to aligning them with our values so I can say, "Well, at school, we have these policies.

Have you considered aligning that with your policies at home? So if we say that there are filters at school because they are focusing your attention on your education, at home, do you want to have any filters that focus on family values?" So the more that we can help them speak that common language, I think, has been really powerful.

In terms of setting policy, I think it goes back to that transparency at the beginning.

Like, "Here are our policies.

Here's how we've developed them.

So when you come to us as a parent or a family association saying, 'Hey, we want to update these policies.

We want to feel like we have a say,' I think we should establish transparently either we are sharing out with you and letting you know what the policy's gonna be, or we are collecting your feedback because we're planning on updating the policies." Um, I try to have an open door approach where it's like, if you have a concern about something or if you have a suggestion, I wanna hear it, and then my feedback to you is, "How is that going to be used?" I can say, "I'll take this to our senior leadership.

I'll take it to our risk management.

We'll discuss it," or, "At this time, we're gonna let the policy sort of play out for the next year so that we get more used to it, and then we'll revisit suggestions in the future." But it's that transparency and that willingness to give a timeline and a context for how information is being accepted.

At least that's been my experience.

It's not perfect.

There are plenty of families who still come to me and say, "I want this to change right now," and the best I can say is, "Here's the reason we're currently using it the way we are." Great.

Thank you.

And thank you for your question.

All right.

So if no one has any specific tips, I would love to have people share their screen time stories, 'cause it just always fascinates me.

So when I say share your screen time story, I often say, "What is your kind of early memory of screens?" And one for me was, TGIF, which was the, like, Friday, ABC shows, like Full House, Family Matters, and it was, like, the regular thing that my family would do together.

We would sit down and watch those shows, and it was my way of feeling like our family was doing something together, which goes back to my point about I had a positive association with screen time because it was communal.

Do you have any early screen time stories that have shaped the way that you think about screen time and screen time conversations? And feel free to just throw it in the chat, or if you just wanna say it out loud, that's cool too.Nice.

Thank you, Dr.

Cross.

Absolutely.

Oh, I love my Saturday morning cartoons.

I, I used to have to go to martial arts class, and I would always be so sad because it was Saturday at 9:00.

And I'm like, "I'm missing my cartoons." Dottie, I'm sorry that it gets- Mohammed.

Yeah.

I, I think you hit on something so poignant there that, you know, we, we take for granted these days.

The parameters were built in.

Saturday morning cartoons.

Yes.

Right? Yeah.

Not 24/7, all the time, all in your face, you know? It, it was easier back then.

Yes.

It was.

You, you just ...

And, like, if you didn't have the ability to record, you were like, "All right.

I will not be watching this again until next Saturday." Yeah.

Oh, so true.

And it's interesting, 'cause, I talk about that in the podcast too, just the dynamic of, you having full access all the time, and it's sort of allowed me to shape when it's appropriate for them to, be engaging with screen time.

Um, and selfishly, I feel more comfortable with streaming services because there aren't any commercials, so I kinda know what I'm getting.

Like, when I walk away, I know that they're still just watching this one show, and when the show's done, we just call it a day.

Um, and so, o- one of my children was watching, a show on Peacock, and I happened to walk by.

I'm like, "Wait.

Why is there a commercial? I thought I paid for no commercials." So it's just ...

Yeah.

I, I think you...

we have these costs and benefits, but the time when you knew when it would be okay for your child to watch TV is, is definitely changed over time.

Oh, snap.

Okay.

We're talking about Ataris now.

All right.

Yes, Dragon Ball Z.

Absolutely.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, and the novellas.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Wonderful.

Thank you for sharing that.

Yeah.

I feel like, that was my way of talking to my grandmother, because she would always be like, "I gotta watch my stories." So if I was visiting her, it was like you sit there quietly and just let her watch her stories.

You know, play nicely.

But it also built in that respect that this was something important to her.

It was her way of sort of connecting to a larger audience.

You know, she was not able to travel abroad and experience everything, but she could live it through the lives of these stories.

So I think there's just something really amazing when we take time to think about the experience of, screen time and how it's shaped our, our lives and our families.

So I have one more plug.

This is only for, like, the younger, like, elementary parents, if you're, you're ha- you know, you serve those, especially the younger end of that spectrum.

But, I threw this in the chat earlier.

So something that gives you a s- like, digital access without the screen itself.

If you've never seen one of these, it's a Tony Box.

If you have younger kids or you know somebody that has younger kids, y'all, this is the coolest thing ever.

So it's audiobooks and, music with no screen.

So they have the little characters.

You have, you know- Yeah ...

Dr.

Seuss.

You put him on.

He starts reading.

But what I really like is that I have audiobooks now.

So Minecraft, we're going to listen to a story written by a New York Times bestselling author about Minecraft.

And again, kids super engaged and really excited about it.

No screen.

Charlotte's Web performed by Meryl Streep and a whole, like, group of amazing, really talented people.

So those are some of the other things of, you know, ways where they can engage in that digital content but not have something in front of their face all the time.

Yeah, I'll second that.

Uh, actually, my children started off with Tonys.

It was actually a gift from their aunt and uncle.

And so, yeah, especially between kind of the age of two and five, they were very popular.

I think we still have one sitting around somewhere, but as soon as they got Echo Dots, they were like, "Oh, I have this world of music and audio that I can do." We haven't graduated to that yet.

Hey, you should put those things on eBay, by the way.

They hold resale value.

I will keep that in mind.

That's really helpful to know.

Thank you.

And thank you again to everyone who shared, you know, just having a little bit of that vulnerability, admitting to watching certain shows or playing certain games, or even dating yourself, around your video game system.

Um, I just love having those kind of connection points.

All right.

Well, I will, like I said, put my email in the chat if you ever want to reach out to me.

Uh, this is n- not, this is my professional, but it's not my school one, so, it should always be available no matter where I am, now and in the future.

Very good.

Mohammed, again, thank you so much.

It was a pleasure.

You shared so many wonderful things.

I know the attendees are very, very grateful, and we all learned, and it was wonderful.

Uh, members, guests, we're so excited to have you with us today and to just gather.

It's nice to talk about these things, to get new ideas, and to share, you know, your perspective and what you bring.

So thank you all for being here with us today, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

We'll see you soon.

Take care, everybody..